Its not uncommon for me to hear comments like 'you are a people's person' Or 'you have an affect over people' Or 'you are a great talker' Or 'you know how to handle people'.
To be honest I am nothing of the above. I am just a very average person who does his best to keep his head afloat. But what I can never match are people's expectations. Be it my family or friends or colleagues, I am always expected to play this super effecient, always perfect, flawless, charming, creative, super dedicated person 24x7 .... But hey am I really this person, I don't know. Why? Well because I've been playing this part for so long that its difficult to really know what my own traits are like. And to make make matters worse, to falter now will mean banishment into oblivion.
How long can I do this? How long do I have to live in the constant fear of making mistakes? How long will it be before I am forgiven for the mistakes I might have made? How will long will it be before I am absloved of the crimes I did not commit? How long will it be before I before I get my long overdue credit? How long ...
The answer is - I don't know... Maybe its not anybody's fault & maybe its just mine. Maybe I've just not understood things ... Not understood people & their expectations. May be they are all right & I'm wrong & then maybe I'm right too....
Whatever be the answer ... The point is that my mind continues to race & sleep is still hard to come by...
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2 comments:
I think u are perfect and a great person... u have just been hanging around with the wrong people... u know have no reason to crib now .....
Thanks for your vote of confidence Celestial
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