The Eternal Madness of the Unquiet Mind

Today, the so called Master of Disaster Management feels completely blown away. I've always managed my way out of the worst and the most impossible of situations but for once I have no solution to my predicament.

Its almost as if my my mind is playing 'Ring a ring O'Roses' and is forcing me to fall down.

Maybe I've lost my touch ... completely.

I'm tired ...

What I need is a miracle ...

... Afterglow

Here I am, lost in the light of the moon that comes through my window
Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divide the thorns from the roses
It's you and the roses

Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As I let you go I will find my way when I see your eyes
Now I'm living in your afterglow

Here I am, lost in the ashes of time, but who wants tomorrow?
In between the longing to hold you again
I'm caught in your shadow, I'm losing control
My mind drifts away, we only have today

Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As I let you go I will find my way
I will sacrifice 'til the blinding day when I see your eyes
Now I'm living in your afterglow

When the faith has gone as I let you go, as I let you go

Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As I let you go I will find my way, I will sacrifice
Now I'm living in your afterglow

Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divide the thorns from the roses
It's you who is closest

The Saint

Today a question that honestly deserves some introspection was fired at me and that too straight out of the blue... (The text is not verbatim)

Are you really as saintly as you appear to be in terms of women or ... ?

Taken aback by the way this googly was tossed at me, I was at first a little unsure about the way I was required to answer this question. Sense however prevailed and I managed the answer but not before I quizzed my interviewer about the defination of the term 'Saintly'.

My Question : How does one define the term 'saintly' and what does 'in terms of women' mean ?
This probe found me the following answer.
Unsaintly behavior in terms of women - Person who flirts with the intent of oogling and may take immense pleasure in doing so. (There are some who do it compulsively)

My answer was somewhat close to the following ... I'm a guy and I'm straight so essentially I have my beliefs and my thoughts in the right place (Fact). And I definately don't oogle at women because I consider it extremely obscene and an invasion of privacy. I don't deny an occasional flirting on my part but its limited to ladies who know me well and who I hope have the mindspace and intellegence for it. My apologies but I have no patience for dumb women (or anyone for that matter).

My answer did not seem to completely satisfy my quizmaster so another twist was popped on me.

So are you implying that you are not interested in women and that you don't look at them?

Me : Well as I mentioned before I'm straight. But there is a definate fat line of distnction between oogling and what we men call a quick scan or glance.

Quizmaster : Hmmnnnn.... (the topic drifted to something else)

Much later in the evening it occured to me that human actions and opinions are to a huge degree precipitated by past experiences and the emotional traces that they leave. So there are usually some undercurrents that linger through and manage to affect the way we percieve situations.

In my case ... I think I'll just say ... Once smitten forever shy.