Earthquake !

... Moderate Tremors ...

Should be at least 5 on the Richter scale ...

When Insults Had Class !

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." --Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow.

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it" -- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... If you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

... (followed by Churchill's response)

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one." -- Winston Churchill

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."--Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde

Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a dinner party, "Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!" Winston replied,"Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!"

Mr. Intellectual Once Said ...

"I must say that I find TV very educational. Everytime somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book."

So much for all the hours of research we put in...

Experience

It's not our abilities that show what we truly are ... It's our choices.

That's what differentiates us from the rest of everybody out there.

... And choices usually are like a double edged sword!

So the next time you make one, be damn sure of what you decide. You might not get another chance.

Reinventing the Wheel

Some of life's toughest lessons can never be taught ... They just have to be lived, experienced and felt to be learnt.

Yet another night ...

Physically exhausted

Mentally drained

&
Wide awake

What ?

I did'nt do it ...
I did'nt control it ...
I can't cure it ...

Chaotic Logic

Flip through any book of quotable quotes and its more than likely that you'll find the famous lecturer and essayist of the 19th century, Ralph Waldo Emerson declaring with the strongest conviction...

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.”

... Profound... That's what any leadership guru will say. And of course all those who've paid tons of money to hear him faff will shake their heads in unison.

And now the entire thing has been taken to ridiculous levels, courtesy the latest Bollywood money spinner 'Om Shanti Om'. Watch as Shahrukh Khan eloquently uses a mildy distorted version of Emerson's fabled belief more than 6 times to make it the film's punch line ...

May I implore the esteemed brains of this world to please take a moment and think about what Mr. Emerson believed to be so true and what 99% percent of today's advise / love gurus use to make money...

I mean think about it ... if simply deciding was enough to force things to happen, life would have been so damn neat.
Hell ... I want / had decided to be the richest guy in the world in pre school !
The Result - All the conspiracies have happened ... life is a goddamn mess and I am nowhere bloody close to it.

And then I read somewhere 'you need to decide from your heart and not just your brian ....'

Bull Shit !

A Slice Of My Life

If ever in my lifetime I make the mistake of being lost between fantasy and reality, remind of a story. Its called...

'The Little Pink Frock & A Box of Cadbury's Gems'

Morning Glory

A smile erupted from the very depths of his heart and spread across his face like the morning sun

P.S. - Kindly excuse the photgraphic quality. Picture taken on a humble 3.2 MP cell phone camera.

Scorpio

I was recently gifted a coffee mug by a very dear friend. Inside the nicely packaged box was a parchment (reproduced below) that supposedly told me the tale of my personality traits.
That I was born under the sign of Scorpio is no secret but am I the Scorpio as detailed in the parchment ?
Well...

Scorpio
October 23 To November 21

Passionate & Determined

Scorpio is the eighth sign of the zodiac. Those born under this Sign are dead serious about their mission to learn about others. There's no fluff or chatter for Scorpios either; these folks will zero in on the essential questions, gleaning the secrets that lie within.

Scorpios concern themselves with the beginnings and endings and are unafraid of either; they also travel in a world which is black and white and has little use for grey. Its the scorpion which symbolises Scorpios and its no accident. Much like the Scorpion that would rather kill itself that be killed.

Those born under this sign are the ones who are in ultimate control of their destiny. Fearless Scorpio's rarely lose. They just keep going on since they are stubborn and determined to succeed.
They tend to skip the kiss and get on straight to whatever comes next.

Scorpio's Key Phrase - I create

Scorpio's Pick-up line - You're place or mine ?

Scorpio's Colours - Deep Red, Black & Indigo

Scorpio's Gems - Bloodstone, Opal & Garnet
Scorpio's Metal - Plutonium
Scorpio's Coffee Choice - Never prone to self denial, Scorpio opts for all the sensuality of a latte. One can barely taste the coffee but isn't subtlety the name of the game

Simple Pleasures of Life

Sin Delicious

Did you know that Barista Coffee has an extremely indulgent dessert on their menu ?

Its called Dark Temptation !
(Warm chocolate Excess served with ice cream and whipped cream, topped with hot chocolate fudge)

Now that's what I call absolute ecstasy !

Hhmmmnnnn..........

Small Fires

Read this on a box of matches.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

Talk about small revolutions.

Watched

At the stroke of the midnight hour while the terrorists plotted and the robbers planned ... I found my watch.

All I now hope for is 'World Peace' !

Principle of Selectivity

The flip side of secularism is that you are free to be a fundamentalist.

Incredible but sadly true.

Line of Fire

What wrong have I done to deserve the pain, anguish and madness that seems to govern my life ?

Do I really deserve this ?

I hope not and pray not !

At times I wonder ... Do I expect too much from myself ?

The Drunken Duck

In all my experience of being around drunken / sloshed men & women, I've figured that behavior of all such people can be classified into 6 broad categories.

1. Boastful
2. Stupid Anger
3. Extreme grief
4. Mirthless laughter or happiness
5. Baseless affection / romance / sexual attraction
6. Idiotic philosophy

Can sum it all in two words - Raving lunacy

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

'...so God said "Let their be light" and there was light...'

In a setting just as theatrical I've come to realize and understand a few things about myself. And so as has become customary, I shall let my new found divine enlightenment known to the cybernetic world.

1. I hate / condemn / frown upon (as applicable)

a) Self pity & people who indulge in it.

b) Two faced people (crooks). In fact I happen to know a certain variety of Hydra as well.

c) Lack of common sense.

d) Verbal diarrhoea. (senseless stuff)

e) Stubborn dolts.

f) Gay pride parade. I mean I'm straight but I don't go parading down the damn street with a flag advertising it.

g) Certain bitches & bastards. I tolerate a lot of them.

i) The statement 'True love is ...' & the question 'What is true love?'

F*** Off ! Do some work.

j) Show offs. Specially the yuppie puppies.

k) Pseudo class.

2. I love / admire / respect (as applicable)

a) Intelligent, honest, simple and straightforward people. I belive this genre of humankind forms a microscopic percentile that I'm still searching for.

b) Hardworking people with a sense of responsibility and purpose.

c) Selfless people. I'm not advocating anyone to be a sage and renounce the world but simply referring to those who are empathetic to others.

d) Nature.

e) Small pleasures of life.

f) Photography, computers, books, music & movies.

g) My friends.

i) Quest for knowledge. The constant endeavour to better oneself.

k) Money

3. Realizations

a) A Matter of Convenience

After 27 years of existence I have finally learnt the benefits of doing things to suit my convenience. For the perfectionist that I am I've understood that saving lives is not my profession. I just need to do my best and that's it. (period) You might argue "but that's how it should be." Well, I used to usually put my entire life's worth into anything I did. But not anymore. I do a job, like a job and to the very best of my ability (no compromises there). Its just that I no longer make it my life's work. Its not worth it.

Recently, I was asked if I plan to implement the 'Convenience' principle in my personal life. Earlier I wasn't very keen about the whole thing but with the breaking dawn I've realised I seem to be the only idiot not doing so. So well ... here goes.

b) Nothing is impossible because everything is possible. Naturally I am talking about practical stuff.

c) Chaos Theory stands true.

d) People who bull shit go a long way. But I'm still not going to do it. (knowingly)

e) True love is a myth.

f) Life always comes a full circle.

Thank you for your patience.

Sincerely yours,

The Saint.

Issued In Public Interest (Version 1)

The Pursuit of Happiness

The United States' Declaration of Independence lists three aspects as the "unalienable rights" of man - "Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness". Penned by Thomas Jefferson and often referred to as the 'Great American Dream' this phrase has motivated millions. Infact so strong and deep is its influence that people across the world waste their entire lives in an attempt to live up to it.

When I say waste it is not my intention to vandalise the belief of others but its simply that like F. Scott Fitzgerald I am rather uncomfortable with the unrestrained materialism and lack of morality that creeps in with it.

For me happiness is a moment in time and a state of mind where one feels that 'life is good'. Its pointless to waste time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Happiness is something extremely personal, its more than just an experience of joy or pleasure.

Today, I think I have learnt to revel in those moments and then move on ...