I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn
So I guess the fortune tellers right
I should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
But you crawled beneath my veins
And now, I don't care
I have no luck
I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things
That I can't touch
I'm torn
- Natalie Imbruglia
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
The Illusion of Choice
"...the problem indeed is the choice itself, one which would not be present without the very predication of the anomaly, the remainder, the incalculable sense of hope, but also the endlessly deferred affirmative difference."
Monday, March 26, 2007
Dreamy Desire
I've always maintained that to get what you desire in life, all it takes is a blend of three simple ingredients.
(a) Lots of common sense
(b) A healthy measure of creative energy
(c) And a dash of dream (worth chasing)
Materialistic or otherwise ... This concoction always gets you there ... well almost always.
Its this dream, the smallest measure of all ingredients that fuels the fire of imagination and brews the blend of both senses. But it is here that lies the problem.
Confused ! I'll explain ...
We as human beings have two centres of thought (my views only).
(a) The Brain ... determined, cold, calculating, methodical, hard and selfish.
(b) The Heart ... illusionist, fickle yet rigid in belief, unconditional and a traveler of sorts.
Now a desire or wish that we so ardently want fulfilled is something that the heart usually comes across on one of its travels. (Exceptions to the rule exist in the form of needs which are better perceived by the brain) The dream of seeing that desire fulfilled is nothing but an illusion of the heart that sets ablaze the fuel to kick start the tremendous power of the brain. So phenomenal is this power that once unleashed it does not rest till the desire is no longer a dream but a reality. In other words our common and creative senses jointly referred to as logic take over.
Sounds good ... doesn't it. So where is the problem ... Hmmnnn ... good question !
The problem lies in the heart. For it is here that the desire takes birth and dream takes wings. And its this flight of fantasy that our brain attempts to rationalize. Moral of the story - Logic has a foundation in air !
If only I had understood this earlier ... Life would have been so much simpler. But would it have been as beautiful as it was while I chased this dreamy desire ... No !
So what should I do ... listen to heart or my brain ?
Because both are right on all counts !!! Yes. They are !
I don't know...
As for me ... I've been left with an incredible imprint that will last an eternity and perhaps ... even longer ... !
(a) Lots of common sense
(b) A healthy measure of creative energy
(c) And a dash of dream (worth chasing)
Materialistic or otherwise ... This concoction always gets you there ... well almost always.
Its this dream, the smallest measure of all ingredients that fuels the fire of imagination and brews the blend of both senses. But it is here that lies the problem.
Confused ! I'll explain ...
We as human beings have two centres of thought (my views only).
(a) The Brain ... determined, cold, calculating, methodical, hard and selfish.
(b) The Heart ... illusionist, fickle yet rigid in belief, unconditional and a traveler of sorts.
Now a desire or wish that we so ardently want fulfilled is something that the heart usually comes across on one of its travels. (Exceptions to the rule exist in the form of needs which are better perceived by the brain) The dream of seeing that desire fulfilled is nothing but an illusion of the heart that sets ablaze the fuel to kick start the tremendous power of the brain. So phenomenal is this power that once unleashed it does not rest till the desire is no longer a dream but a reality. In other words our common and creative senses jointly referred to as logic take over.
Sounds good ... doesn't it. So where is the problem ... Hmmnnn ... good question !
The problem lies in the heart. For it is here that the desire takes birth and dream takes wings. And its this flight of fantasy that our brain attempts to rationalize. Moral of the story - Logic has a foundation in air !
If only I had understood this earlier ... Life would have been so much simpler. But would it have been as beautiful as it was while I chased this dreamy desire ... No !
So what should I do ... listen to heart or my brain ?
Because both are right on all counts !!! Yes. They are !
I don't know...
As for me ... I've been left with an incredible imprint that will last an eternity and perhaps ... even longer ... !
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Things money can't buy ...
Colleague : Hey! I'm just stepping out to the malls for a spot of shopping. Do you want me to get you something ?
Me : Peace of mind ...
Colleague : !#$%^&*()_+{}}":?><
Me : Never mind ...
Me : Peace of mind ...
Colleague : !#$%^&*()_+{}}":?><
Me : Never mind ...
Monday, March 19, 2007
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Incredible Junction - The Transit
For once I wanted to take a long flight ... To fly beyond my space ... Without thinking about so many things ... But then reality took over ... And I curtailed myself.
Now some chapters from my book will have to be closed ... But their fragrance will stay forever ... Till ETERNITY !
01:14:24 AM
Sunday, 18 March, 2007
Now some chapters from my book will have to be closed ... But their fragrance will stay forever ... Till ETERNITY !
01:14:24 AM
Sunday, 18 March, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Analysis and Interpretation !
This Valentines most sought after 'Doctor Ship's (Relationship's) advice !
(By the way from this day hence, I (Dr Ship) am going to start charging for all the advise that I give ... no matter what the topic)
Okay .... All agony aunts and uncles, several councillors, psychologists, psychiatrists and matchmakers will be out of job if couples with troubled relationships follow this one advise.
If you have a problem with your whoever ... Don't brood over them ... Discuss them.
Break the problem down ... Don't break down ... Talk it out.
Don't just sit there thinking what he/she said and what he/she meant. Its just not worth the trouble ... trust me. Instead just walk over ... get into a solution mode and request your partner in crime to do the same and thrash that issue out.
The moment couples get into the analysis and interpretation of what was said and what it meant or worse what was intended or indicated or implied or any such intangible confusion ... disaster reigns !
If despite your best efforts your other half (note : I'm not saying better) refuses to participate in your efforts ... Follow the Traffic Signs! (simplest signals ever created)
Stop ... Look ... Move ON !
(open to analysis and interpretation ... ha ha Got you there !!! Well get your thinking caps on !)
And to make things light at the end of this extremely difficult lesson, here's a forward that I got today....
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer.
Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said,
"Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time.
Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my girlfriend. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says 'nothings wrong,' and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
(By the way from this day hence, I (Dr Ship) am going to start charging for all the advise that I give ... no matter what the topic)
Okay .... All agony aunts and uncles, several councillors, psychologists, psychiatrists and matchmakers will be out of job if couples with troubled relationships follow this one advise.
If you have a problem with your whoever ... Don't brood over them ... Discuss them.
Break the problem down ... Don't break down ... Talk it out.
Don't just sit there thinking what he/she said and what he/she meant. Its just not worth the trouble ... trust me. Instead just walk over ... get into a solution mode and request your partner in crime to do the same and thrash that issue out.
The moment couples get into the analysis and interpretation of what was said and what it meant or worse what was intended or indicated or implied or any such intangible confusion ... disaster reigns !
If despite your best efforts your other half (note : I'm not saying better) refuses to participate in your efforts ... Follow the Traffic Signs! (simplest signals ever created)
Stop ... Look ... Move ON !
(open to analysis and interpretation ... ha ha Got you there !!! Well get your thinking caps on !)
And to make things light at the end of this extremely difficult lesson, here's a forward that I got today....
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer.
Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said,
"Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time.
Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my girlfriend. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says 'nothings wrong,' and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Make time or Miss out ...
Davies the poet who got nothing of what he deserved but still managed to simplify the choas of modern life into words that will continue to reverberate even in the eaons to come ... I salute you.
'Leisure'
- By William Henry Davies
What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.
A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
'Leisure'
- By William Henry Davies
What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.
A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Five For Fighting
I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me
I’m more than a bird
I’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see
It may sound absurd
But don’t be naive
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed
But won’t you conceed
Even Heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me
Up, up and away, away from me
It’s all right
You can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy, or anything...
I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me.....inside of me
It’s not easy to be me
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me
I’m more than a bird
I’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see
It may sound absurd
But don’t be naive
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed
But won’t you conceed
Even Heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me
Up, up and away, away from me
It’s all right
You can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy, or anything...
I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me.....inside of me
It’s not easy to be me
Should Truth Prevail ?
I think honesty and truth are not synonymous with each other ... just like excellence is not synonymous with perfection ...
But then this is what I think ... and these days I don't really think that matters much.
But then this is what I think ... and these days I don't really think that matters much.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
The very meaning of a 'Meaningful Life ...'
Recently while on one of my endless drives back from office I was assaulted with a question. Endless because the traffic crawls slower than an earthworm and assaulted because I was a million miles away trying to breakdown the theory of the infamous Freudian slip. (After Willy he's next ...)
She : What do you think is the meaning of having a meaningful life ?
Me : Whoa !!! Where did that come from ??? (To both myself and her)
She : No. Generally.
Me : Well...
(Suddenly jolted out of my reverie ... I managed not to come up with an instant answer which would in any case have been very hollow)
Me : I think .... It could mean different things to different people ... (my voice faded off)
Me : Whoa !!! Where did that come from ??? (To both myself and her)
She : No. Generally.
Me : Well...
(Suddenly jolted out of my reverie ... I managed not to come up with an instant answer which would in any case have been very hollow)
Me : I think .... It could mean different things to different people ... (my voice faded off)
All possible answers beginning from the mystical to the mythical and even the metaphysical seemed to flow through my head but nothing clicked.
In the very awkward silence that followed the sound emanating from my car's stereo seemed rather loud ... I turned it down. The traffic moved another pace but the silence remained unbroken. On another day or at another time this question might not have instigated my brain cells the way it did then. Perhaps it was the intensity with which the question was put that forced me into a thoughtful coma ...
Next Day.
I enter office too busy with my 'To Do' list to lend any further thought to the question that had plagued my mind the previous day...
And then I saw it. A framed poster that's been hanging in my office for all the five years that I have worked here. Its a poster that displays the famous monologue voiced over by Mark Renton at the beginning of the film, Trainspotting.
I enter office too busy with my 'To Do' list to lend any further thought to the question that had plagued my mind the previous day...
And then I saw it. A framed poster that's been hanging in my office for all the five years that I have worked here. Its a poster that displays the famous monologue voiced over by Mark Renton at the beginning of the film, Trainspotting.
And I thought maybe there's something here (pasted below) !!!
Its titled - Choose Life. Pardon the liberal use of the F word ... not my taste but it had to be a true representation.
Choose Life.
Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself.
Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself.
Choose your future.
Choose life.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Whats The Scene ...
Restless energy
Super good weather
Nowhere to go
Tired mind
Too much work
Boring atmosphere
Emotional mind
No relief
Cloudy night sky
Ray of light
Second chance
Desperate measures
Clap of thunder
Depth of silence
So little time
Hope...
Super good weather
Nowhere to go
Tired mind
Too much work
Boring atmosphere
Emotional mind
No relief
Cloudy night sky
Ray of light
Second chance
Desperate measures
Clap of thunder
Depth of silence
So little time
Hope...
Monday, January 29, 2007
Ask ?
I just read this very interesting quote ...
'Its better to ask twice than than to loose your way once.'
And I think it makes a lot of sense !
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Shakespearean Verdict
After the longest three days of my life I've decided that you my friend Mr. Shakespeare had no clue about your own dilemma ...
Sorry William since I am in no position to pass a verdict on myself (at all) ... better you than me !
By the way Willy did you ever believe in miracles ?... You know ... I mean I don't know ... maybe someday ... somewhere... I'll be surprised !!!
Till then ... IS Life Beautiful ?
Sorry William since I am in no position to pass a verdict on myself (at all) ... better you than me !
By the way Willy did you ever believe in miracles ?... You know ... I mean I don't know ... maybe someday ... somewhere... I'll be surprised !!!
Till then ... IS Life Beautiful ?
Ya Ya ... I know "All the world's a stage ... " blah blah blah........
Well well well "Play On ..."
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Dream Junction ...
Its past 4:00 AM and I have been staring at my blank screen for several hours now. My only company in this sleepless quest has been the untiring cursor, the hum of my laptops fan and a tired but worried and anxious brain that's been gushing forth a steady stream of thoughts.
While I stood at the Incredible Junction, mesmerised by what I saw, felt and perceived; I had promised not to analyse or interpret any of the myriad scapes that it presented. Today I'm still there ... but today I'm worried that this dream that I have so ardently chased might forever just remain a dream...
What should I do ?
Should I just stand there and let the world go by and then hope for the best ? (this is what I am doing at present)
OR Should I do what I've always practiced myself and also advised others to do (in all aspects) ... "Accept life only at your own terms because you yourself have the power to write your own destiny..."
Why is it that suddenly my own philosophy that I have so religiously followed has suddenly deserted me?
But isn't that what I really want? And isn't this is just another means to attain my goal. But do the means justify the goal ? ... NO (period)
Is what I want really matter? ... I don’t know...
But isn't that what I really want? And isn't this is just another means to attain my goal. But do the means justify the goal ? ... NO (period)
Is what I want really matter? ... I don’t know...
Maybe I am living in a dream world and this dream that I'm chasing is a part of the dream world... I don't know...
What I do know is that I don't want to wake up? For once I don’t...
And somehow I fear I will …
And somehow I fear I will …
Monday, January 22, 2007
What Now ?
My dear friend William Shakespeare once wrote -
"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances ..."
Then Why O Why did you Mr. Shakespeare write this -
"To be, or not to be: that is the question."
Because my life currently revolves around it and for once I have no solution !
"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances ..."
Then Why O Why did you Mr. Shakespeare write this -
"To be, or not to be: that is the question."
Because my life currently revolves around it and for once I have no solution !
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Incredible Junction !
I've always loved travelling - moving on in search of something new and fresh, for ideas and experiences that will help me unravel the mysteries of the world that surrounds me.
BUT ... but today ... its different.
I don't know how to explain this but for once I don't just wish to take off into the horizon that has always enchanted me. Instead I want to be here in my comfort zone that has so recently covered me up in a cozy cocoon and consumed every second of my thinking.
I don't know where this will lead ... I've never ever experienced anything quite like this !
Maybe I'm just chasing a dream ... But then some dreams are worth chasing !
BUT ... but today ... its different.
I don't know how to explain this but for once I don't just wish to take off into the horizon that has always enchanted me. Instead I want to be here in my comfort zone that has so recently covered me up in a cozy cocoon and consumed every second of my thinking.
I don't know where this will lead ... I've never ever experienced anything quite like this !
Maybe I'm just chasing a dream ... But then some dreams are worth chasing !
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
My Chaos Theory & Murphy's Law
Chaos Theory ... Butterfly Effect ... Non Linear Dynamics ... Quantum Mechanics ... Initial Conditions ... Random Orders ... Will it ... Won't It ... Maybe....
Whatever be the logic that mathematicians apply to quantum chaos - one thing is for certain whenever I want some work done it will simply not happen and even if it does not before I loose considerable amount of hair worrying about it.
Nothing ... I mean nothing ever goes right the first time !
Do I not put in the effort ? - I do ... Yes I do !
Am I a moron ? - Well nobody's perfect but I'm confident of my basic common sense...
Am I not adequately prepared ? - I just spent a week of sleepless nights working it out...
Final question - Have I lost my sanity ? - The way things are going I may BUT not yet ... not bloody just yet !!!
Time to get back and ... !
Whatever be the logic that mathematicians apply to quantum chaos - one thing is for certain whenever I want some work done it will simply not happen and even if it does not before I loose considerable amount of hair worrying about it.
Nothing ... I mean nothing ever goes right the first time !
Do I not put in the effort ? - I do ... Yes I do !
Am I a moron ? - Well nobody's perfect but I'm confident of my basic common sense...
Am I not adequately prepared ? - I just spent a week of sleepless nights working it out...
Final question - Have I lost my sanity ? - The way things are going I may BUT not yet ... not bloody just yet !!!
Time to get back and ... !
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
The Dilemma
Me - "I love my job"
They (vehemently) - "You're not normal"
Me (wondering) - Why ???
They - "Always remeber, your Bosses will take advantage of this"
Me - "But they are good people"
They - "Thats an illusion they create"
Me (strongly) - "No ! Not where I work !"
They - (Pause)
They - "One day you will realize and suffer"
Me - "Bosses or not - Trust is what I have in them..."
They (cut me short) - "You're mad"
Me (wondering) - Am I ???
They (vehemently) - "You're not normal"
Me (wondering) - Why ???
They - "Always remeber, your Bosses will take advantage of this"
Me - "But they are good people"
They - "Thats an illusion they create"
Me (strongly) - "No ! Not where I work !"
They - (Pause)
They - "One day you will realize and suffer"
Me - "Bosses or not - Trust is what I have in them..."
They (cut me short) - "You're mad"
Me (wondering) - Am I ???
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