Invictus

I'm the master of my fate,
I'm the captain of my soul.

- William Ernest Henley

So help me God...

Its not uncommon for me to hear comments like 'you are a people's person' Or 'you have an affect over people' Or 'you are a great talker' Or 'you know how to handle people'.

To be honest I am nothing of the above. I am just a very average person who does his best to keep his head afloat. But what I can never match are people's expectations. Be it my family or friends or colleagues, I am always expected to play this super effecient, always perfect, flawless, charming, creative, super dedicated person 24x7 .... But hey am I really this person, I don't know. Why? Well because I've been playing this part for so long that its difficult to really know what my own traits are like. And to make make matters worse, to falter now will mean banishment into oblivion.

How long can I do this? How long do I have to live in the constant fear of making mistakes? How long will it be before I am forgiven for the mistakes I might have made? How will long will it be before I am absloved of the crimes I did not commit? How long will it be before I before I get my long overdue credit? How long ...

The answer is - I don't know... Maybe its not anybody's fault & maybe its just mine. Maybe I've just not understood things ... Not understood people & their expectations. May be they are all right & I'm wrong & then maybe I'm right too....

Whatever be the answer ... The point is that my mind continues to race & sleep is still hard to come by...

Point to Ponder

"Beauty is a summation of the parts working together in such a way that nothing is needed to be added, taken away or altered"

Elio Carletti (1925 - 1980)

Enigma

A mountain bathed in moonlight,
Bone chilling minus 9 degrees,
Howling Himalayan wind...

...Desolate, Intense & Stunning

I love wild cats!

P.S. The Mysterious Ones !!!

02 October 2008

After months of non stop work, Gandhi Jayanti's holiday came as a pleasant surprise. A much need holiday that I used to withdraw within myself and ponder over the events that have clogged my mind's bandwidth.

The conclusion - I need the follows:

Professional
1. Long term professional goal and plan
2. More money

Personal
3. Be less trusting
4. Be more logical & practical
5. Be less empathic
6. Learn to detach myself

Health
7. Need to take care of myself a lot more
8. Peace of mind. Need to unwind and relax

In short I need a renewed life (one without excess baggage) and to kick start that I need a holiday!

Midnight Visitor

Slippery

Okay...I goofed up!

I wished an acquaintance of mine 'many happy returns of the day' ... errr.... It was her wedding day!

Hell I never really liked that son of a goat anyway.